Chilly Australia?!

The weather out here in Australia has turned surprisingly cold and average over the last few days, which has pretty much put flying on hold. Easter is the busiest time of year for the tandem operations out here and with up and down sort of conditions it was a bit of an eye opener when you witness first hand how shitty weather can impact running a paragliding business.

I did fly a few days ago though and had a fantastic flight! I didn't go XC, but I got up to base, flew to Clearspot, flew back, got low, scratched up again, got to base, boated around by the clouds, tried some SATs, almost spun my wing (auuughhh!!!!), did some spirals on both sides instead, and then landed in little wind on my ass with a big cloud of dust (ankle is still not in landing-condition!). That pretty much sums it up.

We'll see if the weather plays ball over the next while but at this point, I am considering coming home a couple weeks early. It'd make life a bit less hectic with the timing of things when I return, but I won't be hasty in making my decision. I do miss home though! One thing I've learned out here: you can never have too many Canadian flag stickers with you when you travel - spreading patriotism is good.

Own That Thermal, Bitch!

One thing I really need to stop doing is being a thermal’s bitch. You ever feel like that? Where a thermal has control of you and almost a personality of its own and says “ha ha, you’re mine!” One second it treats you to smooth 5m/s lift, the next second it spits you out and makes you suffer as you fly through its rough edge, and then as you reinflate the one half of your glider that went missing in the process and fly upwind to fly through it again, it’s gone.

It’s definitely very stupid, but maybe a new reaction to this sort of thing could be a sort of american ghetto-attitude where as you do your 360’s perfectly climbing in a thermal, you can think to yourself “you’re mine, beotch”, and then if you find yourself in shitty scrappy lift and it gets a bit rough, combined with one of those fancy sideways snaps and head movements (brakes in one hand of course), you let out a defiant “oh no you din’t!!!!!!”. That could always ease a bit of nervousness and could be really funny if your radio were locked on.

OK, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about again – must be the fucking heat out here. Moving along…

I had a really nice time flying for almost 2.5 hours today reaching and surpassing the 100 hour mark (finally!!!) and as I did, I realized how important it is to use the pitch and dive energy of your glider to turn it on its yaw axis. Cores were fairly strong today and there were plenty of times where you’d be pitched back rocketing up and then you’d catch the dive as your glider accelerated forward. I know this isn’t anything new, but I guess what I experimented with was turning the glider with total weightshift as it would dive forward and I found that although instinctively it made me a bit nervous, doing it made me stay in lift much more efficiently.

Maybe it’s that see-saw sort of feeling that makes me want to shit my pants sometimes when paragliding. That rush of wind you feel when rocketing up sometimes, and then hoping that next second you won’t see the trailing edge of your wing… Or like today, I suddenly hit 4.5m/s sink, then watched as the reading on my vario went from -4.5 to -3.5 to -2.5 to -1.5, well you get the picture, until I was rocketing up at 5 m/s. As the readings changed so quickly, I was sitting there anticipating a juicy thermal, but a bit anxious because I had no idea what the climb would be like – smooth, choppy, how much, etc. But that’s half the fun of paragliding – there are always so many unknowns.

It’s all about feeling comfortable in the air though, that’s for sure. Your comfort zone expands each time you have a noteworthy flight, be it a conscious thing or not. With that your goals become more ambitious, just like mine: set a new personal best, fly over Mt.Buffalo, fly over Feathertop, do a proper SAT, and have 150 hours airtime, all before I leave OZ. Ha ha! What I want might be just a TAD unreasonable, but…yeah, so it might be totally unreasonable, but it’s fun to dream.

Smiley flights!

Ended: Four Weeks of Hell

After a 4 week hiatus from flying, the day before yesterday I was reunited with paragliding again.

Launching was good although yesterday a better method of chucking invalids off the hill (versus the day before) was sussed out; basically the pilot should be in the forward launch position (A-risers and brakes in hand) and have one person on either side anchoring them by holding onto the chest strap and leg strap on their respective side. Then as the pilot inflates the glider, the “support team” lifts the pilot up by the straps (some if not most of the pilot’s weight is on the glider), runs (at this point the pilot has let go of the A-risers and is controlling the glider with the brakes), and sort of throws them off the hill. Of course you need to do this in quite a bit of wind, but I was surprised at how well it worked.

Both of my flights were a bit on the wild side…the first one was pretty rough and choppy with broken lift everywhere, and the second had small bullet 4 m/s thermals with 4 m/s sink around them. The second flight reminded me of being on a roller coaster – fun for the first while, but after an hour and twenty minutes or something, I pulled the pin and came down. I feel a bit rusty though, so in a sense I’m glad Mystic is putting me to the test.

Landing has been good too. Both times I got out of my harness and hung from the leg straps when coming in to land, and then once a few feet off the ground, I lean back and land gently on my back. Again in wind, it’s been quite good, and my rational behind hanging from the leg straps initially is because it’s easier to judge distance from the ground in that position (well, for me anyway). Other than being a bit of a numbskull yesterday and having to land in an alternate paddock because of misjudging the windspeed, coming down has been alright!

So yes, good to be back in the game again. Being injured I found it easy to become resentful when everyone else around you is clocking up hours, awesome flights, and fun, and you’re stuck being a spectator rather than a participant. The attitude of being happy for others is doable and was my genuine feeling at first, but after almost 4 weeks, I’ll be the first to say that finding happiness in other people’s joy gets old fast. I much prefer to revel in my own happiness rather than others’, thanks! Sounds selfish and harsh perhaps, but hey, ultimately it is the truth. Humans are selfish and I’m no exception.

Ankle-wise, I’ve ditched the crutches but I’d bet that any 75-year-old woman could outpace me! I sort of forgot how to walk on my injured side – my knee keeps on doing weird things, my ankle makes strange popping sounds and I’m not sure how to place my foot on the ground. And then when I do walk around, my foot aches like hell…and yes, I do wear a brace. I swear, I’ll never take things like speed-walking and running for granted again because man, being on crutches and then learning how to walk properly again totally sucks ass!

Anyway, same old, same old out here, although I should point out that my time in OZ is slowly coming to an end. At the end of next month I’m back in good old Canuckistan and although I totally look forward to being back home again, I won’t be able to fly right away, so I have to keep building my flying experience out here as much as possible. It’s a tough job, but I’m quite happy to do it.

Smelly Paragliding

People who are uptight annoy me – fun is fun and dammit, I want to have as much of it as possible. Laughing at someone else’s expense is generally a not-so-nice thing to do, but I think in some cases it’s perfectly deserved and acceptable. Here are some things that paraglider pilots do or are which amuse me, irritate me, or send me running…

1. Wearing a ski suit when flying – I’m sorry, but anyone who does this looks like a dork…especially when their ski suit matches their glider. I know paragliding isn’t a fashion sport, but please people, in order to retain some shred of dignity, remember that your neglected 90’s ski suit shouldn’t match your wing and would probably look better hanging in the window of an op-shop than on you.

2. Short shorts – why is it that European men wear short shorts? There was one pilot in Manilla who wore these short purple shorts that had slits on the sides and would sort of flow as he walked by – how is that attractive?! It’s definitely not, and in fact it’s disturbing and disrespectful to wear such distracting clothing around fellow pilots! Paraglider pilot or not, men who wear short shorts should be arrested.

3. Blinding patterns – neon colours with repetitious patterns is not cool. Repeat that in a different way – paragliding equipment dated pre-2000 is generally not suitable for public viewing due to the risk of severe ocular damage. Nothing makes me cringe more when I see some guy whip out a harness with 8 different uv’d neon colours, attached to a glider which looks almost transparent. Besides the fact that this type of equipment might not exactly pass safety tests, it looks too ugly to fly, and should therefore be chucked. No two ways about it – if it’s hideous, it’s not airworthy.

4. Nerds – ever notice how many nerds there are in paragliding? I think it’s a fairly safe assumption to make that the majority of pilots are middle aged Caucasian men who work in the IT sector. The idea of communication systems, varios, gps’s, backup gps’s and entering waypoints into electronic gadgets must be heavenly – nevermind the incredibly exciting topics of polar curves, wing loadings, aerodynamics, and glide ratios. Paragliding is definitely a nerdy sport – think about it.

5. Caked on sunscreen – I always find it amusing talking to pilots who look like neglected children with sunscreen smeared all over their lips and faces. Many pilots must find the concept of blending sunscreen into their skin foreign, and therefore leave it on their faces until it eventually absorbs, but not without first getting all over their helmets, gloves, and other possible body parts. I understand that especially in our sport, sun-protection is vital, but I won’t apologize for the smirk on my face when talking to a pilot who has a perfect white ring flaking around his mouth.

6. Trotting off launch – why do people with perfectly good running skills trot off launch? You’ll see a fairly normal looking pilot in a regular setting and suddenly he turns into a complete doufus tip-toeing off the hill. It’s so disappointing! Run normally! Running like there’s shit in your pants won’t help you launch better and only makes you the center of attention in a very bad way.

7. Peeing around takeoff – maybe if I were a man I would have no problems whipping things out of my pants and relieving myself whenever I’d feel like it, but can you please not pee next to my glider? I don’t know how many times I’ve turned around to get my gear and there’s some guy standing nearby reacquainting himself with his trusty friend. Here’s a piss tip for all men out there: pick a spot where you think you should like to pee and walk 10 feet further from that spot and pee there instead. Avoiding awkwardness is helpful to all!

8. Profuse sweating – paragliding can be a sticky, smelly sport. There’s nothing worse than having 5 layers of clothing on scratching around the trees for an hour below launch height sweating like a donkey, getting up to base and freezing your ass off, and then landing in the middle of fucking nowhere in 40 degree heat. When this happens, the people who pick you up are doing you a real service by spending the time and effort to come retrieve you. Do them a favour when you get in the truck and KEEP YOUR ARMS DOWN! I’ve been to hell and back many times: sit in a vehicle with 4 men who have just landed, and who are using the seats as a sponge and the vents as dryers and then tell me if it’s possible that a date with the devil could be any worse. I don’t think so!

I don’t mean to imply by any of this that I’m not any of these things or have not worn short shorts at one time or another. I’d also love to believe that I smell heavenly at all times because as a women, I am a magical being who doesn’t ever have to worry about icky bacteria causing strange odours, but I do have to suppose it is possible that once in a blue-moon, this isn’t quite the case.

For the most part, I love paragliding, but the things mentioned above are not so fun. For things in our sport to be funner, only small changes need to be made. I suggest a revolution, one point at a time!