Dumbass

I was on my server for something business-related when I realized what the archiving problem with Blogger was - duuuuuuuhhhhhh. Should've looked here first. Problem solved.

My Facetiousness Returns

So, I was going through some vacation pictures from Lanzarote, and I came across one that scared even me:

Wow, that’s what I look like when I’m drunk – yikes!!!

I don’t even remember that picture being taken…oh well, it made me laugh.

Anyway, so the Archive section of this blog doesn’t work, and I can’t seem to fix it. I can usually figure this stuff out, but this one’s got me stumped. I’ve changed a million settings, paths, etc., but nothing seems to work. Maybe I’ll change over from Blogger to something else if I can’t get it to work.

I’m not really an overly artsy person, but I was playing around in Photoshop last night, and created my own work of art (ha ha). The title: “View from Above”. Yes, it’s flying related, and yes, I like lines (ok, maybe not powered ones so much).

So I was looking over my glider last night, and hmmmm…my lack of expertise in the subject matter isn’t really helping. The lines to me don’t look quite right – I might be wrong, and I hope I am, but I think they need to be replaced - I should find out this weekend if this is the case. They curl really funny, and they have brown spots on them at certain points. I made the decision that if it costs me more than 500 bucks to repair lines, and any damage to my glider that there may be, I’m not going to bother. I need a new wing anyway, and although financially I’m not exactly ready for one, I’ll figure it out. I can usually find creative ways of making money anyway. Spam anyone? J/K!!!

I feel like laughing at myself some more so:

Ok, not my best work, but it’s a start.

Only 2 months until the Dominican – yay! Leaving your country for a warmer one rules!

It's Good to be Alive

Well, I made it home it one piece - it's good to be back.

Yes, it's -20 outside, snowing, and sun is hiding behind the clouds, but you know what? I don't care. I think when you have a near death experience, it changes your outlook on life, even if it's temporary.

The last couple days I've relived my last day in Lanzarote, over, and over again. I try to ignore the "what ifs", but when I think about them even for second, I realize how amazingly lucky I am. I mean, seriously, I don't think there's a word in the English language that describes the good fortune that was with me when I hit those power lines - I guess it just wasn't my time to go.

There was one split second after my accident where I considered giving up the sport...the next second, my mind was made up - NO! One bad experience can definitely throw somebody off, and it'll for sure take some time for me to be back at 100%, but give up flying at this point? Not a chance.

Maybe we paragliding pilots who have been through something traumatic and who continue to fly, are greedy. When I came home and told my parents what had happened...it was hard. Thinking about my little sister and picturing her losing her big sis to a sport, well, that's hard too. The people on the ground who saw me hit those lines - man, that must have been disturbing. I think it's easy to say you'll do what you want, but remember that there are others who care about what you're doing. I've told the people I care about over and over again: I know that there are risks with paragliding, but I accept them, and try to minimize them.

Now that a couple days have passed, I'm coping better with all this - you gotta move on. I think it's important to spend some time thinking about what happened, and what will change as a result, but once you do, you've just got to live the life you've been giving another shot at.

I hope my brush with death a couple days ago will be my last for a very, very long time...especially when it comes to flying. We all take risks every day, and I still believe that paragliding is a safe sport. It's very much as safe as the pilot, and unfortunately, my lack of judgement in Lanzarote almost cost me my life...almost.

I can't wait until the weather turns - I'll be back in the sky again! :)

I'm the Luckiest Person on Earth...

Oh my goodness, what a day.

I woke up to what I thought were flyable conditions, but in fact, were not. We all had our last breakfast together, after which those who had to leave for their flights started making their way to the airport.

I suggested to Tom that we go shopping for a bit in Arricife, so off we went. Travelers tip: before driving around a foreign city of any size, bring a map! We ended up getting lost, and not having time to shop at all. I did get to drive the car through the city for a bit though, so that ended up being helpful stick-shift practice.

We then stopped off at the staff’s villa, at which point I was the only pilot left. We drove to a flying site, checked out the wind (too strong), and decided we would return later. Meanwhile we would all go shopping – this second attempt turned out to be much better.

After shopping we had lunch, and headed back to launch. This time, the conditions were just right – soarable! I launched, soared for about 40 minutes or so with the help of John on the radio, and then, well, things started to go awry...

I started heading along the ridge where it dropped off, and where I couldn’t find any lift. John was trying to help me find some, but by that time, I had already left the lift band along the ridge. At that point I knew I’d have to land at the bottom of the ridge, but not in the landing zone, as the distance was just too much. At this point Vicki (also an instructor) was also in the air, and tried catching up to me. She was telling me all sorts of things on the radio, but I just couldn’t hear her through all the interference.

I started getting lower and lower to the ground, and started mentally preparing myself for landing. I saw, what I thought was a radio tower on my right side, when I suddenly came to a halt, heard my glider crumple, and I started sliding down – I hit a set of power lines.

The second I hit them and realized what they were, I thought I would die. In that split second, I expected to be electrocuted. My thoughts at that point were “I’m okay with this”. I then slid down the lines, and landed on my butt. My airbag harness was definitely put to the test, and it probably saved me a back injury. After landing on my butt, I kinda rolled to my right where I hit my knee on the hard ground – nothing serious, just some bruising…I was lucky.

When I landed, I actually started to laugh – nervous reaction I guess. I radioed back to tell Vicki and John I was okay, and I just sat there, shocked and disappointed with myself, but extremely thankful to be alive. I got away with this one with a few bruises and scratches – God loved me today.

Vicki then landed her glider a bit aways from me, and said there was a flash when I hit the lines…my glider seems okay though – go Apco! Folding it though did result in some sparks though – I think my reserve should be repacked, just in case there’s a charge.

I just about died today – I was SO close. 20 metres from where I landed was a deep gully. Had I hit the power lines there, I would have fallen who knows how far down. 10 feet or so to the right of where I landed was a bunch of cactus – I landed on a spot that was completely bare.

I didn’t cry until John gave me a hug – hugs tend to make me cry. I’m so thankful to be alive and to be given more chances to fly.

This trip didn’t end the way I wanted it to, but I’ve learned some important lessons – I certainly vow to never make the same mistake again.

My message to fellow paragliding pilots: please be careful when you fly.

I was in a Volcano Today!

My trip has just about come to its end, and with minimal flying I’m afraid.

It was unflyable as usual, so we didn’t waste too much time deciding on which activity would make more sense than circling the island in search of non-existing paragliding flying conditions.

The group opted for a hike up and into a dormant volcano – awesome. The hike up was hard! The scree made it difficult to get proper footing, so sometimes climbing on all fours was the only option. We all got to the top, snapped some photos, and then walked down to the core. There were some really neat rocks down there, and it was a neat feeling being in a place where lava once spewed from…

If we can't fly to the top, we'll hike! (but only if we have to...)

Not Flying Leads to Drunkeness

The flying conditions today were – you guessed it – unflyable. Another day of high hopes have been dashed…you’d figure we’d be used to it by now.

We spent the day traveling in between the beach, different flying sites, and then finally conceding defeat an hour before sunset to go go-karting. Go karting was fun, but man, I suck! Oh well, it beat sitting up at launch.

For dinner, John (the head instructor), cooked us one of his usual elaborate meals – it was fantastic as usual. One could get used to being cooked for all the time! I’ve been overeating a lot lately, so I toned down my food intake today, and after two glasses of wine, I got drunk. Aftwerwards we took a dip in the hot tub, and now that I’ve had 3 glasses of wine, I’m pretty pissed…

Some Flying is Better Than None

Shocking news – the trend has been broken: we flew today!

Man, every blog entry for this trip has reeked of negativity, and unfortunately this one is not all lollipops either.

This morning we went up to a flying site that involved about a half hour hike up a pretty steep mountain/hill thingy. The flying was pretty lame – no lift, just a quick top to bottom. Al and I did 2 of these each (while everyone else only had one flight) – yes, we are keeners. Total airtime at this site: 7 minutes.

We then headed to another site which involved like a 35 minute drive. This site, Mala, was flyable, but not soarable. The two flights I had here were somewhat boring. Total airtime here: 9 minutes.

So, my airtime in Lanzarote is a whole 15 minutes – hooray. I had a “moment” where I vented my frustrations aloud, which were cheerfully peppered with the use of the word “fuck”. Everybody laughed, and I only did it once, but man, I meant every word I said. I wouldn’t put Lanzarote high on my list for paragliding destinations, that’s for sure.

My trip is coming to an end – 2 more flying days left, with one extra day to bum around. I miss certain people back home, but I don’t want to go back without at least one good flying story. Hopefully tomorrow it’ll all come together.

Patience Grasshopper...

The weather today is a shit show. My naturally persistent optimism is having difficulty kicking in this morning. A front is pushing through, bringing with it strong winds and cloudy skies – this is the exact image I awoke to this morning. If I end up going back to Canada without one flight out here, I think I will cry. It’s days like this that you reevaluate why you even bother with this sport, when you spend so much time only hoping to fly.


In Canada you think that the flying season is short, and that’s reason enough to complain. The funny thing is though that we’re quite lucky to have a decent sized number of sites to fly, which are usually fairly consistent during the summer months. When I say that, I’m thinking more about the BC interior more than anywhere else, and although it’s a bit of a drive, it’s a great place to fly. These UK pilots who I talk to have also had their share of frustrations sitting on hills for endless hours, waiting to fly. And now here we are, like 3000 km’s from England (ok, that’s only a guess), and we’re all waiting again. Parawaiting truly is universal.

It’s 9:30 am – today feels like it’s going to be a long day. It’s time to make the best out of this disappointing situation.

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So I was right, the shit show continues. We didn’t fly today, but I was wrong about it being a lousy day – it was actually quite fun!

The people you do things with really make all the difference. Thankfully I was paired up with Alistar (Al) as my driving buddy, and he’s definitely the coolest of the bunch.

Married with a pregnant wife, Jane, who’s also along for the trip (although obviously not flying), this guy is fucking hilarious! All day while driving through the desert from one blown out flying site to another, we go back and forth in surfer slang about how stuff is sick, the shit, and how flying in Lanzarote blows. Man, I haven’t laughed so hard so much in years!

At the non-flying sites, we play games with rocks, which today involved taking out our lack of flying on a poor cactus, we trash talk each other with plenty of use of the word “whatever”, and drive 100 kmph on washboard roads that have made our rental car fall apart; the front bumper is loose, the weather stripping hangs, and the front lights are apparently fucked.

When Jane is in the car, she’s right in the thick of it too – it’s great. They make such a great couple – if I ever get married, I want to have as much fun as those two.

The rest of the guys are cool, but don’t have half the energy Al does. Tom took a short drive with us today, and dubbed our vehicle the “party car” while laughing at our absolute absurdity. Mentally, paragliding really tests your patience and sanity when it’s not flyable – you can really start to lose it. It’s great to be able to spend time with people who are like-minded and can lift your spirits, even when they’re covered in shit.


On a lighter note, the forecast looks promising for tomorrow, and hell, even if we don’t end up flying, my time out here is short, so I should try to make each day as good as or better than the last.

P.S. Al took me out for a stick shift driving lesson today, which ended up going fairly well. The smell of the burning clutch was cool.

Not Flyable? Party On!

Ha ha, what a day! I’m writing this only semi-sober, so please excuse any and all senselessness.

We all got booted out of bed ½ hour early this morning to shouts of “it’s flyable!” Rushing like mad, and then arriving at launched proved otherwise; it was blown out.

We ended up spending the morning groundhandling in 30 kmph winds – yeesh, not my idea of fun. We then went out for lunch, checked out launch, drove around to another site, waited for the wind to change while playing “the rock game”, then went for drinks. Not very encouraging flying-wise, but hey, I’m a paragliding pilot – this non-flying crap is what I deal with all the time.

Groundhandling aftermath

After drinks we went for dinner to a place where they have giant kabobs of different kinds of meat, and cut you a piece with your approval. At first I was so leery as the whole concept of the restaurant seemed almost barbaric, but it turned out to be cool. We then went back to Lagomar (the cave bar) where we danced the night away.

My British accent is now at a point where I like to use it in a somewhat mocking fashion towards my fellow pilots, which is received by praise and interesting critique. Apparently my accent is South London, with a hint of Kokanee – lovely!

So I’m writing this at 4:00 am – I’m so fucked for tomorrow. God, cut us some slack and let us fly – please!!!

P.S. The beer here tastes like shit. Volcanoes are cool. It is fucking windy here. I like the sound of the ocean. Our rental cars are driven way too recklessly. I saw some bastard hang gliders flying today. I think all Brits are alcoholics. Lanzarote is expensive. I am wasted!!!

My Lanzarote Adventure Begins

I’ve arrived! Yesterday’s traveling almost killed me, but here I am admiring Lanzarote’s landscape. The thunder in the distance isn’t my first choice, but flying today would really only be a bonus, as today is a transitional day anyway; last week’s group is leaving, this week’s pilots are arriving today.

It’s SO WARM! The air is humid and smells of the sea and greenery I’m not familiar with. The mountains in the distance look like wind-sculpted sand castles – so cool.

My fellow British pilots are as cordial and hospitable as ever. I feel rather unsophisticated around them. I want to say to them “hey man, how’s it going?” when I know their reply would be “rather well, and you?” I think I’ll be speaking in their manner of speech by the end of this trip – sans British accent of course.

Jet-lag wise, so far so good. Considering the fact I slept on a couch last night, I think I’m faring well. Last night I slept in the staff villa, which apparently isn’t half as nice as the pilot’s villa. I’m curious to see what it will be like, as this place was actually quite pleasant. Everything is so tiny though! The garbage cans, drinking glasses, automobiles – compared to North America, everything seems to have been miniaturized.

I’m writing this as I wait for everyone to finish eating breakfast at the other villa. Today sould be pretty relaxing, especially since the rain clouds and thunder won’t allow for much else. That’s okay though – I’d rather it rain now than later in the week. Besides, thunderstorms are awesome.

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I just have to write again as I want to look back upon this trip and remember exactly how I felt.

Today, wow, was a great a great day. The pilot’s villa is amazing! It was a Jacuzzi, pool, beautiful furnishings, a double bed for myself, and is simply luxurious. I spent the day in the Jacuzzi, then the pool, then sunbathing, and then just taking in the view. At one point I started to laugh out loud – this is what’s life’s about!!!

All five pilots from my group arrived today – average age: 45. Hah, I’m female, young, and Canadian – how cool is that?! They seem like a decent group – paragliding experience-wise, it seems I’m somewhere in the middle. That seems like a good spot for me.

The jet-lag kicked in at around 6 pm Lazarote time. Narcolepsy started to kick in, but I somehow made it to my room where I slept for what seemed like 2 hours (in actual reality it was only half an hour)…sweet.

For dinner we went to a seafood restaurant which thankfully served more than just fish. They brought out dish after dish of different food, which were pretty decent. My shrimp allergy made me a bit nervous, but it did make a good excuse to pass on the octopus dish!

After, we went to bar in a cave – Lagomar. Seriously, that was the funkiest place I’ve ever been to. The lighting was such that anything white glowed, and the décor made it almost surreal. The bartender, who liked to pour triples (7 E), made it especially fantastic.

Including dinner drinks, I had two glasses of red wine, and a triple of Tia Maria and Bayleys. I’m not drunk – my alcohol level has definitely increased over the last couple months. Combine that with my inner voice which now has a British accent, and it’s good times for all!

Tomorrow will be an amazing day…

Embarking on a new adventure

Even though I'm leaving tomorrow for my trip and still have a million things to do, my curious (but still manageable) addiction to blogging has forced me to sit and digitalize my thoughts again...

I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow! WOW! Today I felt everything from excitement, to wonder, from worry, to dauntlessness, from questioning my sanity, to finally accepting my own form of sanity. I've concluded that I have an insatiable desire for adventure which, in this case, is taking me almost half way around the planet.

And that's exactly why I've been feeling the way I have been lately. I've put in a lot of hours at the casino giving away mostly free smiles in order to fund the trip which I'll be embarking upon tomorrow. It's sort of a strange feeling when everything comes down to "now" and you scratch your head wondering if you're ready for it even when there's been plenty of prep time.

As an example, I will be lugging around more than half my body weight in luggage! Hah, that will be interesting... 75 lbs in baggage is a lot of fricken weight! And the funny thing is, I kept things to the bare minimum; my equipment alone is about 50 lbs, and my luggage bags are another 10 lbs or so. So that's like 15 lbs in personal shit...and trust me, 15 lbs in clothes, shoes, etc. is NOT a lot. Ok, I'll admit - 5 lbs is just makeup - ha ha, just kidding!!!!

But anyway, besides that, I've been questioning my flying abilities lately. I have no idea what level the pilots who I'll be flying with are at, and that in itself is kind of scary. I really really do try not to overanalyze these things, but the last thing I want is to be flying in conditions I'm not ready for as a result of peer pressure...

Whatever! I will be in a fucking awesome place 2 days from now, so I should enjoy that for what it's worth. There are a lot of question marks running through my head right now, but I guess that's half the fun. Of course when I get back, I will post entries about my amazing flights, and post pictures that will make any pilot salivate...heh, I cant wait!

Adios amigos!

Buy My Company for $75,000

I don't want to work on my business again. Man, lately I am so unmotivated when it comes to my company. I've totally neglected it over the last month. It's to a point where even I don't know what the hell is going on. I e-mail my partners when they e-mail me, but it's my aggressiveness that made things happen to begin with. Now, that's just not the case. My passivity is starting to show on the books. Shit, it eats me up inside. It's extremely frustrating because in the past I could sit at the computer for 7 hours straight, day after day, and get stuff done. Now I just can't do it! When I go to the casino to work, I have fun. The people are fun and the money is good. Yes, it's completely brainless, but the older I get, the more I realize that intelligence does not necessarily facilitate a larger paycheck.

I think I need someone to yell at me and tell me I've worked too hard on my company to let it fizzle. Maybe I should have a talk with myself, and give myself shit! Or I'll play one of those psychological games like depriving myself of food and water until I put in 10 hours of work. Ha ha, there's a weight loss idea! I think I'll write a book...

Last weekend I bailed last minute on going to Banff and seeing Will Gadd's new short film. And no, despite the rumours from some of the pilots, I was NOT hungover! Oh well, next time.

So my trip is in exactly 2 weeks - yay! My vario, a Flytec 6010 came last night, so I'm happy. My GPS cleared customs today, so that should be here shortly too. I like playing around with gadgets - they are fun! I should mount my vario and my gps to the dash of my car and note the altitude and gps coordinates of everywhere I go...ok maybe not. But yes, I am a dork.


I've been stressing lately on how the hell I'm going to transport my glider at those damn airports. I'm concocting a plan on how this will all work out - lets hope my apparent brilliance will figure this one out. Curse British Airways and their one limit checked baggage policy!!!

Crap, once again I have spent 20 minutes at the computer not working! Ok ok, I will find a balance with all this...juggling work, a business, relationships, and paragliding is hard.